The Sounds of Westmas
by SilverShadow44
Summary: Yes, yes - I know. I really can't stop myself sometimes, though I should try harder! Happy Holidays, y'all!


_**The Sounds of Westmas**_

(to the tune of 'White Christmas'):

_I'm dreaming of a Wild, Wild Westmas_

_Just like the ones I used to know,_

_With evil plots dyin'_

_As henchmen go flyin'_

_From Jim's fists landing ev'ry blow_

_I'm dreaming of a Wild, Wild Westmas_

_With all the disguises Artemus wears,_

_From preachers and salesguys_

_To sailors and barflies_

_With cunning laying out his snares_

_I'm dreaming of a Wild, Wild Westmas_

_With ev'ry fanfic that I write –_

_May our Boys be merry and bright_

_And our Westerns adventurous and light_

_[WWWWWWWWWWWWWW]_

(to the tune of 'Jingle Bells'):

_Crashing through stained glass –_

_Who thinks this is a plan?_

_Emma Valentine, dear,_

_That's no way to kill a man!_

_Dr. Loveless, is this a joke,_

_Or a childish mood you're in?_

_Shrinking Jim with a smoke –_

_C'mon you think he's not gonna win?_

_Oh, clanging bells, chloroform smells,_

_Masks, pit traps and more._

_Why don't villains ever use_

_A gun to even the score?_

_Oh, Rocket sleds, fake undeads,_

_Bombs in cakes besides!_

_It's no wonder our heroes escape_

_To whup the bad guys hides!_

_[WWWWWWWWWWWW]_

And, forgive me . . . .

(to the tune of the '12 Days of Christmas'):

_On the first day of Westmas, my partner gave to me_

_A lock pick to get us both free._

_On the second day of Westmas, my partner gave to me_

_Two hollow boot heels_

_And a lock pick to get us both free._

_On the third day of Westmas, my partner gave to me_

_Three mini smoke bombs_

_Two hollow boot heels_

_And a lock pick to get us both free._

_On the fourth day of Westmas, my partner gave to me_

_Four fake aliases_

_Three mini smoke bombs_

_Two hollow boot heels_

_And a lock pick to get us both free._

_On the fifth day of Westmas, my partner gave to me_

_Five Loveless schemes_

_Four fake aliases_

_Three mini smoke bombs_

_Two hollow boot heels_

_And a lock pick to get us both free._

_On the sixth day of Westmas, my partner gave to me_

_Six minions fleeing_

_Five Loveless schemes_

_Four fake aliases_

_Three mini smoke bombs_

_Two hollow boot heels _

_And a lock pick to get us both free._

_On the seventh day of Westmas, my partner gave to me_

_Seven saloon girls dancing_

_Six minions fleeing_

_Five Loveless schemes_

_Four fake aliases_

_Three mini smoke bombs_

_Two hollow boot heels_

_And a lock pick to get us both free._

_On the eighth day of Westmas, my partner gave to me_

_Eight snipers missing_

_Seven saloon girls dancing_

_Six minions fleeing_

_Five Loveless schemes_

_Four fake aliases_

_Three mini smoke bombs_

_Two hollow boot heels_

_And a lock pick to get us both free._

_On the ninth day of Westmas, my partner gave to me_

_Nine townsfolk arguing_

_Eight snipers missing_

_Seven saloon girls dancing_

_Six minions fleeing_

_Five Loveless schemes_

_Four fake aliases_

_Three mini smoke bombs_

_Two hollow boot heels_

_And a lock pick to get us both free._

_On the tenth day of Westmas, my partner gave to me_

_Ten stallions stampeding_

_Nine townsfolk arguing_

_Eight snipers missing_

_Seven saloon girls dancing_

_Six minions fleeing_

_Five Loveless schemes_

_Four fake aliases_

_Three mini smoke bombs_

_Two hollow boot heels_

_And a lock pick to get us both free._

_On the eleventh day of Westmas, my partner gave to me_

_Eleven plot holes showing_

_Ten stallions stampeding_

_Nine townsfolk arguing_

_Eight snipers missing_

_Seven saloon girls dancing_

_Six minions fleeing_

_Five Loveless schemes_

_Four fake aliases_

_Three mini smoke bombs_

_Two hollow boot heels_

_And a lock pick to get us both free._

_On the twelth day of Westmas, my partner gave to me_

_Twelve tons of fun_

_Eleven plot holes showing_

_Ten stallions stampeding_

_Nine townsfolk arguing_

_Eight snipers missing_

_Seven saloon girls dancing_

_Six minions fleeing_

_Five Loveless schemes_

_Four fake aliases_

_Three mini smoke bombs_

_Two hollow boot heels_

_And a lock pick to get us both free!_


End file.
